I made a deliberate effort NOT to make any goals/intentions/resolutions this year…
While I was pondering becoming a year older and reliving my first year as an adult, I realized that 21 years ago I had a 10-year plan. My life turned out quite differently than I had ‘planned’ when I was 18. Even though there are days when I chastise myself for not going in the path I thought I’d go, when I really look at my life and where I am, I’m happy. And I’m actually glad I didn’t go down that path I had laid out when I was 18, for I am not the person I was 21 years ago.
For the last 10 years I have been trying to figure out who exactly I am, because the first 29 years of my life I was nudged in directions that turned out to be not right for me. So if there is a goal this year, it’s to be true to myself.
I’ve been reading Intuitive Eating this past week, and it got me thinking… what I really want to do, is to stop and listen.
For so long, I’ve been concerned with the numbers, how much I weigh, what size I wear, how many miles I walk, how many times a week I do yoga, how long I can sustain a running gait…
So rather than have this list in front of me of things I must do by some date, that I will invariably chastise myself for later if I don’t accomplish those goals, I’m going to start listening to me.
I’m going to trust myself, something I’ve been needing to do for some time.
What does this really mean? Well, I guess what it means is that I’m going to try to figure out who I am and what I want, without relying on what I think I ‘should’ do, and do what feels right. And the only way I can figure out what feels right, is to stop and actually feel what my body is trying to tell me.
Pretty philosophical, I know… but it’s where I am right now, and it feels right.
Until next time…