Facing Your Fears…

Hey guys, sorry it’s been a few days, I’ve been a busy bee lately…

Speaking of bees…

Something very strange and interesting is happening to me… I’m slowly overcoming lifelong fears. As you may recall, I spoke of my fear of bridges over water and how in order to get to San Francisco I had to drive over one… I recounted my experience in this post. A few days after that I drove on a really windy road that was exhilarating and was informed that there were some serious drops to the side, but since I was not aware, I was not scared. It made me stop and really think about my fears… and how irrational they are. On the day that we drove from San Francisco to San Diego, I said to my taste-tester, “on your next three-day weekend, let’s drive up to San Fran so that I can drive over the Golden Gate Bridge”. “Really?”, he asked. “Yeah, I’m tired of my fear holding me back from enjoying things… I think I’m ready.”

Several weeks have passed since that conversation, and our next time off seems to be pretty far away, but I still think that I’m ready to take the challenge. Right now you’re probably thinking, “But wait, you said, ‘speaking of bees…’ ”

Oh, right….

I’m also incredibly scared of stinging-flying insects; bees, wasps, hornets… you get the idea. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been scared of bees/wasps… when I was younger I would stand stock-still screaming if I saw one. Brothers, being brothers… my bro told me that they can smell my breath and that they would like the sweet smell and would fly down my throat. Thanks, bro… I soon was standing stock-still, eyes wide, heart racing, mouth clamped shut, hand over mouth, and holding my breath when I saw one. Sadly, well into my late twenties… ok, let’s be honest, into my thirties… πŸ˜•

I recall about 6-7 years ago, I was walking my dogs and ‘Floofy’ was walking on some pine straw around a tree, suddenly a couple of bees came out (*this is the day I learned that bees can live in the ground!)… one went to go investigate what the disturbance was… I had just gotten out of the shower, so my hair was wet and smelled sweet (I’m sure)… the bee came buzzing around the three of us, especially around my head… I was so scared!… I slowly bent my knees to get lower and nearer to the dogs, and tried to blend in with their smell (which the bee didn’t seem interested in)… ‘Floofy’ looked into my eyes as if to say, “what’s the matter? it’s only a bee”… I was nearly in tears I was so scared… eventually the bee lost interest, and we could then go on our way.

I’m telling you this story because, I wanted you to know my usual response to bees/wasps… because, lately my response has been much much different. In the past few years, I’ve been doing a bit of research on bees and wasps, ‘know your enemy’ kind of thing. And I’ve come to realize that the bees aren’t really interested in me, they have a job to do, and as long as I don’t play ping pong with them (using them as the ball), then most likely they will let me be. Wasps, on the other hand, I’m still terrified… they are just mean… except for maybe, the kind of wasps that pollinate figs, they are probably just like the working bees, they have a job.

Anyway…

Since my adventure over that bridge in San Francisco and getting my camera, I’ve been a lot more comfortable with bees. I’m not petting them, mind you, but I am getting a bit braver with how close I am while photographing them. I’m not saying I’m cured, in fact, just looking at these photos makes my heart race, but I’m am getting much better. Oh, and one more thing before I show you the photos… these are not zoomed in (with a photo editor)… this is how close I was…

So I give you, my fear being faced…

For that last picture, I can’t believe it myself, I took the strap from around my neck, looked through the viewfinder and then slowly, oh so slowly, moved the camera closer and closer to the bee while pushing the auto-focus button as I went until, click… I did this several times… I know! Crazy right?… but you gotta love that picture, huh?

Ok, my heart is racing just looking at those… let’s move on…

Besides playing with the bees, I took some other very cool pictures…

I know my posts have been very picture heavy as of late, I sure hope you don’t mind… I’ve just been ‘feeding my hobby’ as my taste-tester says. Speaking of feeding my hobby… I’m still on a quest for some accessories for my camera… I think I’ve picked out a bag that I like… my taste-tester helped me find it… it’s from REI… I went to REI to see it in person, and I like it, I just want it in another color, so I think I’ll order it online from REI. πŸ™‚ As for tripods/ monopods… I’m still way out of my element… there are so many to choose from, I feel like I have to do some serious research on these… so that’ll be a bit longer.

Um…. other than that, I’ve been tweaking the pup, he’s improving. I was actually able to get out for a jog on Friday. πŸ™‚ Oh, and a little pat on my back… I’ve lost 4 pounds. πŸ™‚ I was finally able to buy the next size lower jeans yesterday… I’ve been in-between sizes for so long… it’s so frustrating… finally I can wear a pair of pants that fit! πŸ™‚ Yea for me.

And yesterday, my taste-tester and I finally built our bookshelves… he’s been so busy with work that they have been on hold. It has made a world of difference around here. We finally have a place to put our insane number of books, which in turn means that boxes are being emptied… it’s finally starting to feel like home. πŸ™‚

Questions:
1. What are your fears? Have you been able to face any of them? If so, how?
My fears, as I stated above, are bridges over water and bees/wasps. Those are the big ones. I have many others, but those are the doosies.

2. Do you like to clothes shop? I’m not a fan, I never seem to be the proportions that clothes are made to be… it gets so frustrating, I tend to wear my clothes too big rather than be squeezed into something too small. As I’ve been losing weight over the last 9 or so years, I’ve been able to slowly refresh my wardrobe to the next smallest size… it’s so nice to be able to have my clothes fit for awhile. I am not at my goal yet, so I know I’ll have that frustration again before I know it, but I’d rather be getting healthy than have my clothes ‘fit’ at the larger sizes.

3. Hobbies… what are yours? Mine are obvious… cooking, reading, and photography… but I’m also into computer programming, I just haven’t had the time lately.

4. Do you like my mini food diary? Or could you live without it? I’m enjoying taking the photos, but when I don’t post daily, it seems like overkill when I do post and have a backlog of food pictures.

I still have much to do around here, so I’ll leave you with my mini food diary and say…

Until next time…
~nic

mini food diary:
(fri)…


(sat)…

(sun)…

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3 thoughts on “Facing Your Fears…

  1. Great job on the 4 lbs!! I am loving the pics mostly because I am in NC and I think Cali is absolutely gorgeous, so it’s kinda like a visual vacation for me.

    And I am enjoying the mini food diary, I think it’s unique and I like that.

    I love clothes shopping but have to be in the mood to sift through clothes since I go to places like Ross, TJ Maxx, etc.

    I love walking, writing, napping, coupon clipping, crossword puzzles, cooking and meeting people. I like to think I am a pretty cool extroverted girl but on the inside, I am a dork and I love it.

  2. Pingback: Have you seen this? Β« The Auspicious Squirrel

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