Tough Love…

Seriously? No one can help me with my messenger bag problem? I’m disappointed. 😦
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We are trying out something new with little-bit. Since he is a creature of habit, I’ve decided that he might do better with some consistency. So I will be taking him to daycare the whole work-week. It will be rough at first, but I think that he will eventually acclimate. He has to…

I believe it has gotten to the point where I really have to make some changes, because the current method is simply just.not.working.

This winter it became abundantly clear to me that I cannot continue to stay at home 24/7. When we had all that snowfall, I increasingly began to feel very trapped. Cabin fever. To the point that I was not much fun to be around. I did not like being that person.

I’ll be the first to admit that this situation has gone on as long as it has, because of my fear of losing little-bit (he will be 14 years old in June, floofy died when he was 13yr 9mo). But then it occurred to me that I have been putting my life on hold. I’ve stopped studying (for a new career). I feel like my going back to work means that he has died. So, I cannot study. What a shitty way to feel, how did I get here?

So what am I doing about it? Tough love.

And I feel awful about it, selfish.

I have scheduled little-bit to stay at daycare the whole week (M-F) from 7am-7pm. My taste-tester is on the early shift. And I am trying to figure out what to do with myself…

Monday

Monday was hard. We didn’t get to bed until around 1am on Sunday night… but we got up Monday morning around 5am. I actually woke up on my own at 4:50am and decided not to go back to sleep. I just kept myself moving all day. Little-bit was surprised we were up so early, but he willingly ate his breakfast (and lunch).

At the daycare, I went to get little-bit out of the car, he was shaking a little bit. 😦

I took him in and we tried to bribe him with a treat to go through the door to the playroom. He didn’t seem interested in the treat even though he is very food driven. This daycare has a webcam so that I can watch him, so I know that the people are treating him well. He just doesn’t like to be without me. Hey, I miss him too! The house is so empty without him there.

I went to four stores, then went home to unpack the shopping bags… I could have picked him up before noon. Instead, I went online to watch him. Yep, he was barking and he didn’t look too happy. I grappled with going and getting him. But no, this has to work. I see no other choice. It will be better to get him to trust that others can take care of his needs sooner rather than later.

I went ahead and picked him up a bit ‘early’ around 5ish. He was eager to get back in the car. He seemed to be kinda stuck on ‘boop’. That’s the sound he makes, it’s kinda a cry, kinda asking for something. It took him a few hours to calm down enough to not watch my every move.

We were all tired, it was a long day. We headed to bed around 9pm.

Tuesday

Today, the alarm went off at 5am. It felt like I had just closed my eyes.

I got everyone ready to leave, I put on my running clothes and peeled myself a grapefruit and put it in my bag…

Today, little-bit was clearly shaking when I went to get him out of the car. 😦 I hugged on him for a bit, telling him he was a good boy. This is breaking my heart, but I took him in anyway. I asked that he not be crated during nap time. Maybe that will help?

I’ve checked on him (online) several times today… for a little while he was actually laying down and not barking, but it didn’t last long. But I’m hopeful.

I went for a run at the trail this morning. It was colder than I realized… windchill 34°F. The run was hard, probably because I haven’t had much sleep and I’m worried about my little boy. After the run, I enjoyed, really enjoyed my grapefruit in the car. Such a great treat after a run.

Yesterday it was raining, so I ended up staying at home, after unpacking the shopping bags, doing chores. Today, I wasn’t sure what to do, but I need to get used to being able to leave the house again. So after my shower I decided to get some new running shoes.

Then I went to Barnes and Noble where I am composing this post, offline. They do have free wifi, but I don’t feel comfortable surfing sites that require my password. I can keep an eye on little-bit, though. He seems to be laying down more often… πŸ™‚

On my run this morning I saw two squirrels, I took pictures. I also took a picture of a cardinal. But the pictures didn’t turn out very well, so I won’t post them. If squirrels really are auspicious, then maybe this whole thing will really work out… yesterday I saw three squirrels while I was out doing my shopping. πŸ™‚

This is an insanely long post, even though I keep trying to pare it down.

I grappled with whether or not to post about this, but it is part of my path, and it is my blog, which is about me. I hope I haven’t bored you, but life is about more than food.

Hoping all this works out…
~nic

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4 thoughts on “Tough Love…

  1. Can’t help with the bag question, but hang in there with the little-bit training. Sounds like a tough adjustment for all, but one that is worth the struggle. Hang in there!

  2. So sad about the shaking….I hope your dog gets used to it and sure he is being treated good there. At least you have the option of watching him online so thats nice.

    • simply shaka – The people are really nice there. Everyone knows little-bit’s (real) name, it’s like on Cheers when we walk in, he’s Norm. πŸ™‚ They are working with me, they understand my predicament. They have been very helpful.

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